White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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