So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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