I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
