I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
