the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
