Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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