Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
