nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
