The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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