Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
false alarm, still single
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
