I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
