If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
nut hugger
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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