? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
