WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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