He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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