Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
