i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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