Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
