whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
