the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
should my penis look like a turkey
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize