I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
