I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
