you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
