This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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