i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
