Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
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So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
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I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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