On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.