he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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