The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
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He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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