Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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