She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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