I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
