I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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