And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
