I think my vagina is haunted
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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