ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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