remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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