OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
