At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
