Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
