You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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