It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
