Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
