So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
