I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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