im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i dont even know how to be here
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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