I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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