You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
