I puked a lego.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
