I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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