So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
