Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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