He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
