i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
