evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
