i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
