Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
