Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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