No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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