i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
