I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
