it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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