Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Small penises have feelings too.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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