laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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