Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
time to smoke my breakfast
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
