Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
