My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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