i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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