Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
